K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Randomize
