therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Randomize
