I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
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