Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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