ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
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