lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Randomize
