I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
