I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
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