No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
