It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
he was CRYING into my vagina
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize