She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
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