I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
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