Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
i just made my gag reflex go away.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
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