sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
