Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
pop tarts are not kleenex
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
