we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Randomize