apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
i drank out of a bidet.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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