you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
party gras won. party gras always wins.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
