Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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