eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
