I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
So squirting runs in the family.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
