I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize