He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Randomize
