dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
