What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Randomize
