i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
No subtext here. People are naked.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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