Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
Randomize
