We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
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