Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
And then he peed in my hair
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