I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
I can't trust your balls anymore.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
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