oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
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