Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
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