Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
Randomize
