Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
