Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
tonight lets celebrate not being married
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
My penis needs a shock collar
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
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