Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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