I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
