But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
