my room smells like sperm. sweet.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
