he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize