evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
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