every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize