So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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