just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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