quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
Randomize
