is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
