remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
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