You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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