so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
your like the ambassador to my penis.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
