Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
cat food counts as protein by the way
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Randomize
