i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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