I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
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