everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Randomize
