I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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