She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
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