theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
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