whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Randomize
