You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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