But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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