it was like his penis was on wheels.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
