TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Randomize