just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Randomize
