there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
