I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
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