I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
I would ride that face into the sunset
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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