Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
I'm eating all of the evidence.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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