Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
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