hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize