sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
I cockslap morals
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
