K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
