Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
