what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
