we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
