so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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