Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
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