Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
