alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
