they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
