There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
