didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
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