Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Randomize
