I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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