I'm gonna have a badass scar
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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