Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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